Last Supper

I read a lot of stuff regarding religions and spirituals. For some reason, they always catch my attention more than anything else.

I am a logic person, but I understand that certain thing requires faith to believe. Not everything can be explained in naked view -- like proton and neutron, nobody sees them literally but we can clearly explain its existence within the use of numbers and figures.

So, in my opinion, religion is not a blind faith. Faith comes later after several tests. And God and science must be parallel because He creates everything. He creates science There's no way of mistake or wrong or unknown.

What left is only undiscovered theories.

I find some stories in my reading are really amusing, and some of them are really confusing, and some of them I can classify them as undoubtedly misunderstandings.

Well, some of them are really inspiring.

One of the beautiful fact is, almost all religions have the similarities, including Hinduism and Zoroastrian -- especially the stories about Abraham (I will discuss later).

Last night, I watched 'The Passion of the Christ', again, for tenths of times. It was a brilliant Mel Gibson's piece in depicting the life of Jesus before the crucifixion took place.

In Christianity, they believe in Jesus -- the savior, the God, the Creator.

After watching the movie, like always, apart from its amazing screenplay, I can't help myself from questioning. There is something really wrong about the foundation of this faith I believe.

Christianity is a monotheistic religion as claimed. It means, there is only one God to be worshiped to.

Three Abrahamic religions -- Jewish, Christianity, and Islam, share the same God. But, they are different in practical and ritual.

As we all knew, Jesus prayed. If Jesus was God, how could He pray to God? Was Jesus praying to Himself? To whom He spoke to, and to who He sought for refuge?

Why God asks for forgiveness for the sin of others? And wait, why God asks for forgiveness in the first place?

Was Jesus a schizophrenic -- talking and mumbling to himself -- creating a vision as a sin-bearer (for His own creation!)?

I understand that this movie was intended for entertainment purpose. But in other side of the coin, it potrayed God was weak and powerless -- He failed to save himself and now, his followers said he came down to earth to save humanity!

Christians believe he was crucified, and died on the cross. God was killed? Does it means, the creator of heaven and hell and everything that crawl between it, was dead?

"He died for our sins" and how about the original sin? He had sacrificed Himself for all men, but now it seems like He did not accomplish the sin thing perfectly.

It doesn't make sense to me. I think this is wrong. So I begin my comprehensive search for the answer on this mystery.

In Jewish tradition, Jesus was no God. He was not anyone. Instead, He was a blasphemy. In Islam, Jesus was a prophet, a messenger of God -- a chosen man to receive His revelation. There is no way of God in human form. God is beyond depiction.

I stumble upon the idea of trinity -- the Holy Father, the Holy Spirit,  and the Son. The three in one, one in three thing is the most ridiculous amongst of all the doctrines. It contradicts with the idea of oneness of God.

It against simple mathematics.

Since God is so powerful, why He needs to be so many things -- at least in three different forms -- to deliver His message? Why can't He just be Himself?

Why would He come down to earth, degraded Himself like his own creation, and be killed by His own creation?

Why He needs three days to resurrect? Why He resurrect?

It says you need faith to believe, but my mind says, "a Proton car will never transforms to a Benz by faith."

I feel uneasy and uncomfortable in many aspects, but I keep on searching. I say, "God is much much better than that."

I read the story of nativity, and the creation in Genesis, and keep on going. I try not to treat the stories unjust. I try to be unbiased.

They were in Old Testament.

Then I stop. It goes from weird to absurd, to obscene. I was shocked to know the stories about Noah (he was an alcoholic), Lot (he committed incest with his daughters) and David (he had sex with one of his army's wife and set up a plot to kill him) and which were purely immoral and disgusting.

In Islamic tradition, the prophets are the one who guide you to the straight path. They are examples to be followed.

And as men of God -- persons who carry the words of God -- they are protected from bad doing and sinful deed.

But anyhow, in Old Testament, let alone its peculiarities, it clearly states that there is only one God to be worshiped. There is no trinity.

I continue. I go through Mark, Luke, Mathew and John. I also read about the histories, the personnel, the church, the book of act, and so on and so on.

I feel like I was having an intensive class -- a crash course -- for Christianity.

Because there are so many versions of the Bible, I start to ponder; Who are the writers of this books? Are they authentic -- purely from God?

I find more and more puzzles.

Then after days of trying to decipher, I slowly close and push away all the reading materials and with a slyly smile, I shake my head three times and whisper, "God is great, God is great."

How dare you, Paul?

And who the hell is Santa Claus by the way?