Entah atas maksud apa yang mungkin tidak aku fahami, FB hantar pesanan ringkas melalui aplikasi Whatsapp kepada aku.

''Apa erti rindu?''

Tergesa untuk tidak segera menjawab, aku memulang pertanyaan dengan soalan.

''What with the question?''


Mengenali FB untuk sekian tempoh, adalah mustahil untuk aku tidak bersikap pesimis. Ular menyusur akar, tak akan hilang pekat bisa-nya, kata orang tua.

Kata orang tua-tua lah. Mana aku tahu.

Jadi untuk memati rasa ingin tahu yang mula bergumpal dalam darah, aku balas, ''Maksud rindu bagi aku, ia satu perasaan runtun yang kuat, yang mengikat seseorang kepada seseorang, yang selalu mencarik hati bilamana ingatnya pekat, dan selalu muncul dan di-peringat oleh hampir semua persekitaran.

Rindu bagi aku, satu euphoria yang terhasil daripada tindakbalas emosi, ter-reaksi daripada memori dan jalan-jalan hidup.''

''Nak pikat siapa ni?'' aku tanya, mengacah agar FB segera menyahut persoalan yang semakin kuat meracau mengganggu aku.

Status 'typing...' pada gambar profilnya terasa seperti setahun.

''Terima kasih, Bro. Barangkali aku rindu arwah..''

Terpukul dengan taakulan songsang sendiri, aku terdiam. Ya, aku juga begitu. Rasanya seperti semua apa yang berlaku, hanya baru semalam berlalu.

Aku tak mampu untuk balas pesanan. Seperti tiada kombinasi-kombinasi perkataan yang tertepat untuk aku susun dan hantar, untuk aku beritahu yang aku juga melalui keadaan yang sama.


The End is Beginning

It's a new year in Gregorian calendar, and let us talk about something new.

There are lots of things which numbers and figures can't explain. Statistics seem to soften the reality.


And at this moment of time, Jesus (pbuh) is at least 2017 year old now. It is against the law of any law. No modern time medical journal has ever recorded someone who lives over 200 years old.

That is one of the reason I don't totally believe in science. They are misleading and distorting. They are trying to disapprove the existence of God. They argue about the use of religion.

Why in the hell they told us that we are descended from ape if it was not a syndicate to corrupt our faith?

Too bad, the world is controlled by this type of people.

Muslims and Christians share many same views about Jesus, about his holiness. They believe that Jesus will come back to lead the greatest war between the axis of evil and the truth.

I don't know how many years left before the greatest war will take place. There are so many predictions, prophecies, and assumptions.

According to Muhammad (pbuh), the war will start in Syria, and it is happening before our eyes now. The tension is mounting and the situation is worsen day by day.

At the moment, it is a proxy war. Like always, only Russia show their direct involvement in backing the Assad's regime. US and NATO are hiding its spot but everyone knows the culprit behind all the chaos.

I believe that sooner or later, Turkey will be taken for a ride to justify and engage a military aggression towards Russia. Then, it is officially launched.

Europe will be burnt.

It is just my two cents.

The relationship between Western Bloc and Eastern Bloc now is at the coldest. There are massive military drills in all over Europe nowadays.

The annexation of Crimea is a crucial event and a very shrewd move by the Russia to control Black Sea. Do you have any idea why it has to be at this time?

Do you still think everything happens because it happens?

It is a long story about the conflict. And when you dig out and comprehend the whole history line, you will understand why Muhammad (pbuh) specifically blames the Jews in 1400 years ago. You will get the big picture when you open up your mind and heart. Their footprints were and are in every great wars. Their ambitious and arrogant plans are real and working and taking place.

In easier way of saying, as a chosen people as claimed, they wanted to have every right to enslave others --- even now in many countries, you could be imprisoned or fined for publishing or giving a bad impression for them under the most absurd provision, anti-semitism.

Can we call this as a, coincidence?

So, Happy New Year. Sorry for the long remarks.


Kocak Nafas di Hujung Hembus

Resah menunggu di pelabuhan,
Dendam tertusuk dalam terpendam,
Lelah mahu rasa-rasa terluah,
Entah bila lesu yang tajam ini bisa terbebas.

Ya, ia meluntur waras dan nikmat. Ya, ia meluncur syariat dan tarekat.

Semua kerana ada cinta yang memburu.

Semua kerana ada cinta yang terburu.

For unknown reason, I watched Buletin Utama just now and felt like vomiting.

People with sane mind will quickly recognize who is Jamal the Red Shirt, and who is behind the movement.

He claims himself as an apolitical entity but supports the government. I don't understand what he is trying to prove by the statement. To hide UMNO involvement, perhaps?

Obviously, they are UMNO.

In my opinion, to raise an idiot is not a good move to win back the people. To absorb another liability when your current reputation is bad, is an inadequate act and worsen the account.

We don't need people like Jamal. We don't need the Red Shirt. We don't need a trouble maker. We don't need another joker one after another.

We need answers --- because we love our country.

Sometimes, I wonder what is going on with my country. The government seems not interested to clarify all the issues. They give us more and more confusion. They leave us in questions.

The pressure is getting high.

Duhh, I should stop writing about this kind of thing.

No, this is not a plea for change.

We live in chaotic time. Even everything looks pretty good, the reality always tells otherwise.

For the last ten years, the country was managed and ran by a bunch of idiots. They did not speak for the people. The great Malaysia -- once adored and envied by so many countries and nations -- are now becoming one of the most corrupted country in the world. Our past glorious achievements are overshadowed by our poor governance and mismanagement.

In the streets, people are whining about the hardship to make a living. The price of goods and services are cutting their necks. The value of money depreciates drastically and horrrifyingly.

They blame the law-makers and the leaders.

I just nod.

Honestly, I don't really understand what is going on with the Prime Minister. He should be able to ease and calm the conflict down. He should be able to turn around the table.

But he is not. I don't see the mind of intellect in him. His answers and explanations about the economic, about the promises he made during past election, about racial issues, about many many things, always contradict with the fact. His actions against the critics are also not convincing enough.

Even now, I am still wondering how he acquired RM 2.6 billions in his single private account. A donation from the demise prince of Saudi for his contribution in promoting Islam to the West is a joke of the century.

When the retired old man aged at 92 speaks about his weak leadership and wrongdoings, he accuses him of planning to bring down the elected goverment and raise the son to the top post. This is another joke of the century. Instead of giving a proper reaction, he retaliates in inappropriate manner -- by humiliation and character assasination, as a distraction to silent him.

Now, there is a war against his predesessor.

All of his cabinet ministers are the ones who possess a great art of deceit. Statements made by them are half-true -- they fail to divulge the whole story, the truth.

I don't know. But I do feel something is wrong, something is not right with the current government. Too much cover-ups and too much treacheries are happening before my eyes. The trust is breached. The trust has broken.

Unless there are radical changes in the regime, the ruling party, I suppose, will suffer the most humiliate defeat in the next GE. Three millions registered members are not a guaranteed support. The love is bleached now -- by their own ignorance and arrogance.

And for now, you can write me off. Only a man who has a brain the size of a peanut will hold to this insanity.

No, this is a cry for change.

Permanent Head Damage

The reason I don't go to motivational program or seminar or what ever your mother calls it is because I am a negative person.

I don't need to pay for someone to tell me the things I have already knew.

My problem, I don't believe in many things. I have massive doubt on so-called facts. History for me is a big lie, medicine never cures, and I hate people who talk about business, money, and well-known and famous figures.

This kind of things, they just insult my intelligence.

So, if you ask me about this person who deceives thousands of wealth-hunger about his educational background, I don't lift a finger.

Welcome to the world, I would say.

If you put your priority on things like that, don't blame others if you slip, because that is how the reality works. There are always  bigots who build empires on other's hardwork, blood, and tears.

Success is not measured by how long digit in your personal bank account, it is what you carry in your mind, in your brain, and in your reaction.

So, serve you right, for believing and submitting him. And for those who admire him, go read about the definition of life or enjoy a day or two in remote and secluded island.

Please, Please

By Paranoia Semalam (September 11, 2016)

People with delusion of grandeur are distressingly pathetic. What makes them worse is, they actually knew it.

Ignorance and arrogance -- these two characters are the least to describe them.

Besides of big mouth and all big talks, there is nothing ever produced or proved. It is very hard to converse, let alone to convince and to criticize this type of people, because they would only listen to themselves, they would only believe in themselves, and for them, other people are inferiorly low and liabilities.

I must admit, listening to their tall stories and views about living life amuses me a lot -- not because of some sort of amazement and endearment, but it is more for the sake of disputation and argumentation. Most of time, they hate it, but for them, winning is when your enemies stop confronting.

It is double the fun when you know they are talking craps rather than the truth and the best part is, when their tongues sliply agree with you and they are basically elaborating your ideas and points, but then, still, they refuse to admit it.

They will never submit to any one. And they will never let it happens.

Being apologetic, accepting other's opinion, are a big no. They are condoning themselves, even to their own mistakes, errors or faults.

I don't blame them. This type of people are a slow learner. They have to endure more struggle and pain in getting the prize.

They are typically stubborn, logger-head, and short-tempered person. Listening to other people is not their best skill. They are full of themselves. They oftenly talk a lot. Their patience are for show-off. How would you learn or even to move forward if you open your mouth bigger than your heart?

I am taught to have respect for everyone. Whatever shits you have been gone through are not making you holier or better than any one else. Being humble is not disgracing you or anyone like being snob. And acting like you know nothing, is more pleasantful to know rather than listening to your fairy-tale-lands adventure.

Well, I should have not be fretted. Like my late father said, "Son, the blind and the deaf will pay the higher price!"

A real man should keep and bite his tongue from unnecessary and only present his mind under certain circumstances. Or else, he will be known as what he is now for the rest of his life -- not as what as he tried to potray he is.

Ode Untuk Negara-Ku

By Paranoia Semalam (September 10, 2016)

Merdeka-kah, jika harap, taat dan hajat, masih di-panjat pada selain-Nya? Atau barangkali ia cuma sebentuk kata untuk perdaya dan tipudaya sang pemerintah membodohi jelata?

Merdeka itu bebas. Bebas itu kemuncak. Kemuncak itu gila. Gila itu tidak tertakluk.

Akhir-nya, ter-akur-lah, kita hanya hamba -- yang selamanya harus diam, takut dan gentar.

Tergenggam dalam cinta dan murka-Nya, yang bisa saja terbinasa dalam angkuh-Nya.